The Church Should Be A Place Of Love Not Fear For The LGBT Community

The Church Should Be A Place Of Love Not Fear For The                                                                                                                                       LGBT Community

Transgender Christian In Chains

                 

          Face Book:  Transgender Christians In Chains Facebook
          Enail:           BobbieLang@Reagan.com

 

By Meggan Sommerville, March 31, 2014 at 12:02 am

I want to welcome guest blogger Bobbie Lang, author of her own biography, "Transgender Christian in Chains". Bobbie now lives on a lake in the fabulous Texas Hill Country with two lazy cats and Kate, a crazy dog who thinks she’s a kangaroo .  She is fully involved as an advocate for the transgender community and is actively engaged in building a bridge between the denominational church and the LBGT community.

By Bobbie Lang

For any child navigating through adolescents, life can be a challenge filled with new discoveries and revelations that sometimes lead to missteps and misdirection.  Fortunately in most cases there is usually a parent or mentor that can help guide them along as they explore the mysteries and rites of passage.  However, for a child struggling with gender confusion this journey can be extremely daunting and often there is no one to turn to or a place to go to find answers, or at least emotional support, for the internal conflict they are facing.

“What is my place with God and how does this affect God’s plan for my life?”  This was a question that I, and many others, face in addition to questions concerning sexuality, orientation and puberty.  Unfortunately for most in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community, the places of worship are far too often not a place of sanctuary filled with loving guidance, but has the appearance of a hostile fortification where anyone who does not fit into the traditional doctrinal precepts are often shunned and worse- expelled.

All through my childhood and early adulthood I struggled with these questions but knew I would find no direction in the counsel of a church pastor or empathy from members of the church.  I felt alone and isolated and my questions and confusion only grew worse.  Then, after surviving two suicide attempts I finally surrendered and decided to transition.  As a woman it was my fervent desire and determination to be a Godly woman and in all things give God the Glory.

I found a new house of worship and was soon asked to lead in various outreach ministries of the church.  However, I was still uncertain if I was living up to God’s plan for my life.  As I became better known in the church as a Godly woman, someone who loved God with all her heart, I finally felt comfortable enough to confide in the pastoral staff about my past and asked for partnership in prayer for God to reveal to me His divine plan and call upon my life.

I was not asking for “answers” or “judgment” directly from them but to help me through prayer and discipleship.  However, judgment is what I received in that I was no longer allowed to be a part of outreach ministries, prayer teams and was excluded from Christian fellowship.  I was not allowed to share with others the spiritual gifts that God had given to me and trusted me with.  I was pushed into a corner and ignored.  I was not barred from the congregation but I was not allowed to be a part of God’s family.

After this I understood what Christ spoke about.  In the book of Matthew, Jesus solemnly warned those that followed him about the scribes and Pharisees that thought that they held the rightful place in Moses’ seat.  The Pharisees dictated to the people to observe the laws but “They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them”.  Matthew 23:4

This happened three different times in three different churches in the course of four years.  Finally, I fled the church and for the next sixteen years I was forced to worship and seek God through private Bible Study and devotionals.  Had it not been for the spiritual roots that grew deep during my childhood, I would have walked away from God and been lost to sin.  The vision of the multitudes in the LGBT community that have not had the opportunity to know of God’s love at an early age haunted me and in the years since the exile from those churches, my compassion for them has intensified.

It is my intense desire for the church leadership to present a sanctuary to all individuals, regardless whether you belong to the LGBT community or anyone seeking God’s plan for their life.  It should be the goal of each and every church body to open it’s doors and hearts to everyone and disciple them in the everlasting and loving word of God and not tie them up in the perceived traditional dogma or traditional edicts.

Each place of worship should represent everything that Christ embodies.  It should teach God’s love while holding fast to the truths of the Word.As God opens doors and pathways for me to speak before pastors and congregations, He has given me the exciting opportunity to present a new and different image of the LGBT community to the church pastoral staff and church congregations.

The misrepresented and over exposed negative image that has prevailed in church teachings has done great harm to our community.  We need to be shown as good and  ordinary people, each of us trying to find our place with God, each of us with our own struggles and each of us looking to the Redeemer to point us in the direction we should go.  When it was asked of Jesus what the greatest commandment was He answered, the first is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and with all your mind. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 22:37-39.

This should be what anyone entering the door of any place of Worship should be met with and placed deep in their heart.

Bobbie Lang

3/28/2014

 

 

If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

Facebook      Transgender Christians In Chains

 

Email             BobbieLang@reagan.com

     

                           

 

 For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” Amazon.com     It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

Agony of Responsibility (What if I am Wrong?)

                    

Agony of Responsibility  (What if I am Wrong?)

Yesterday’s blog post was extremely stressful for me on so many different avenues.  For me to make the statement that I now support gay marriage was almost as hard as saying I now support any of the seven deadly sins or any other host of errant behavior.  Please understand where I am coming from.  I was raised in an extremely conservative southern Pentecostal church who believed that any one sin, no matter how insignificant it may be would lead you right to hell.  It didn’t matter that you gave your heart to the Lord yesterday; if you sinned today you would be jerked right out of your shoes and slammed into the pits of an everlasting and all-consuming hell.  Growing up with that belief was in itself a form of hell, living every day in fear and not in the loving Grace of our Lord and Savior. 

As I grew older I committed myself to studying the Word to understand what God really said about salvation and falling from Grace.  As I studied the Word and listened to His voice I learned to walk in the Light and Peace of the Father instead of the fear and anxiety of what would happen to me if I messed up.     But old lesson die hard and many of the erroneous teaching of my youth still linger.  Like Gay Marriage. 

The fear of going to hell consumed my life for nearly thirty years after my transition.  Whereas, I knew the Lord loved me which ever gender I was, I could never break free of my childhood teaching.  The fear of going to hell plagued me.  If I died today, where would I spend all eternity?  If somehow I made it to Heaven by the skin of my teeth, would I get a crown?  Would Jesus proclaim me before the Father and say “well done, my good and faithful servant”?  I wanted so much to please God but my childhood teaching would not let me live in peace.

Finally, in 2013 I finally broke through and found the peace I had sought after that long thirty year journey.  The Father had shown me so much and I had learned so much and I knew He was calling me to share these Pearls of Wisdom to others struggling with the same issues.   I had so much needed someone along my walk to have guided me but I had no one.  I had to find my own way and I wanted to help others.  However, every day, my youthful errant teaching endeavored to dislodge and disrupt what God has led me to do.

I know the responsibility of sharing my life with others and often the burden weights me down.  If someone is looking to me for guidance, and if I lead them astray, the Bible tells me it would be better for me to have a millstone tied around my neck and dropped into the deepest ocean.   The tremendous responsibility often overwhelms me.  The pressure of causing others to miss out on God haunts me.  What if I am wrong?  What if I didn’t hear God correctly? What if Satan has got me deceived?  What if…..what if……WHAT IF?

I also knew that when I started writing these blogs and presenting my viewpoints I would be angering the church and the LGBT community alike.  And I have done just that.  Because I my Christian views I have been banned from some LGBT writing web sites.  I don't know if my writing is helping anyone or if I am offending my readers.  I rarely get comments back and I often get very discouraged.  I feel like a voice crying in the wilderness with no support from anyone. 

I love the transgender community.  Ya’ll have endured so much, for so long against all odds and sometimes I don’t think we are any closer than when I started my journey in the early ‘80’s.  Please understand that we are all on this journey together, yet, each individually and leaning on each other for support.  I haven’t all the answers, yet I know where some of the watering holes are and I know where many of the land mines are hidden.   I am not Moses but I know God walks with those who walks with Him and sometimes He has to carry us.  Please pray for me. 

Bobbie Lang  May 26, 2014

If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

                                           Facebook:  Transgender Christians In Chains

or                                        Facebook:  Bobbie Lang

Or                                       Email me at  BobbieLang@reagan.com

 For more information about Bobbie Lang you can purchase my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to sell my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

                                             Amazon:  Transgender Christians In Chains

Transgender, Homosexuality and Marriage Equality? Questions Answered

                                           
                                                Email:         BobbieLang@Reagan.com
                                                Facebook:   Transgender Christians In Chains
                               or              Facebook:   Bobbie Lang

          Transgender, Homosexuality and Marriage Equality?

                                                     Questions Answered                                

During my transition from male to female and after my gender reassignment surgery in 1984 I struggled with the idea of dating and all the issues and questions of intimacy with men.  As a male my interest was in females.  I had dated a few girls in High School and I had all the typical hormonal instincts of discovery of the opposite gender I suppose every young adolescent boy has.  As a young man I married a beautiful woman and fathered a daughter.  However, I was just acting out the script that I was typecast to play because of my apparent anatomy.  Through all the years of my psychological therapy the questions concerning dating was a main topic of group discussions.  Most everyone thought they could handle the idea of dating men but it was not true for me.  The idea of even holding a man’s hand much less kissing him made me sick at my stomach and I thought I could never do that.   I knew I was not a homosexual man but as a woman what would I discover my sexual orientation to be?

As I began my new life I returned to college to pursue education that would prepare me for a new career.  I was in my mid 30’s and I was absolutely captivated by all these young men in their early 20’s asking me out.  At first I refused but eventually I gave in and began to date.  I enjoyed the fact that men saw me as an attractive woman and I felt at peace that for once in my life I was living the person I thought I was meant to be.  I enjoyed the company of men and the attention that they were showing me and I was attracted to the strength that I found in them.  After a day filled with activities such as camping, hiking or boating I could easily fall asleep and felt safe and secure in their strong arms.  However, whenever the men’s thoughts turned to romance I became extremely uncomfortable and I often wondered what I would do if I was ever asked for my hand in marriage.  Then it happened.  Twice I was asked and twice I broke off the relationship and moved on to someone else.  Eventually, though, I began to believe that I could be the dutiful giving wife that most men desired so when the third man proposed I accepted.   Plans were made and as the wedding day approached I knew I could never go through with the marriage.  The idea and fears of sexual intimacy petrified me and I knew that this marriage would never work.  I ran away from the altar and from men in general, however, the strength in men and men’s attention toward me still attracts me, even today.  Now I live my life as a lesbian and I found that is where I am happy.  So does that mean that I was a heterosexual male and now I am a homosexual woman?  How you view me is a matter of semantics and I can accept either identity without being offended.

So what about marriage equality?  All my life I have been absolutely against gay marriage.  Even in my autobiography released within the last year I stated I was absolutely against it.  It always seemed to me that gay marriage was an attempt by the LGBT community to normalize something that isn’t normal.  I do not think that me being transgender is normal and I do not believe that homosexuality is normal.  I have also heard the excuse that marriage would afford the marriage rights of any heterosexual marriage.  Kate, my partner of nearly nineteen years, and I have been able to acquire legal and family administrative rights through the help of a good family attorney.  So why does the LGBT community demand marital equality? 

For many, believe it or not, the answer may be found in the Bible.  It is about the Biblical guidance concerning fornication.  Fornication are sexual permissiveness is mentioned forty eight times in the Bible.  I think every time I have heard the church criticize homosexuals and the resulting lifestyle it has been in the context of having multiple partners.  Sexual intimacy is one of the gifts that God has given to man and it is a wonderful thing between committed partners.  But the key phrase here is “committed partners”.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong, plain and simple.  End of story.  For the heterosexual community to expect the LGBT community to practice celibacy outside the bounds of matrimony is  wrong and asking them to do things that they themselves would not do is also wrong.  This is no different than the Pharisees who thought they sat in the seat of Moses and put impossible burdens on man and would not life one finger to help them.

So have I changed my views on marriage equality?  I have prayed so intently for God to give me the ears to hear and the heart to listen to His Word so I now support any loving and committed relationship, or marriage, between two men or two women.  I thought I would never come to this point and yet, here I am. 

Bobbie Lang May 25, 2014

If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

Facebook:          Transgender Christians In Chains

Or Facebook:     Bobbie Lang

Or Email me at BobbieLang@Reagan.com

For more information about Bobbie Lang you can purchase my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to sell my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

Amazon.com:  Transgender Christians In Chains 

 

 

 

Trans Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

                             
                                              Face Book:  Transgender Christians In Chains
                                     
                                              Email:          BobbieLang@reagan.com

                                  Trans Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

     When I started my gender transitioning from male to female I knew that there would be many missteps and mistakes made along this perilous trail.  I had spent and exorbitant amount of time observing the traits, methods, mannerisms and persona of the typical woman in various environments ie, malls (while shopping), restaurants, sporting events and the workplace.  I knew if I wanted to be viewed and “pass” as a woman that there would be a number of things I would have to assimilate.  As a man, though small and skinny, I was very masculine in demeanor and I knew this new image would be most difficult to acquire.

     Physical appearance was not the only obstacle, thanks to my already slim feminine features I could pass quite well with a little help from Covergirl and a cute shag hair style.  The things that seemed hardest for me to master were the mannerisms and the feminine decorum that the proper and genteel lady should exhibit.

    I learned my lessons well and shortly I felt I could walk, sit, stand, move and present myself in a dainty and genteel demeanor.  However, Robert Burns once said the best laid schemes of mice and men (and genteel ladies) often go awry and so it happened to me in a very embarrassing but humorous way.

     One of the first things I did in my new gender was to find a new church to attend and a new congregation of saints to fit into as a “new” woman.  I had not attended the church very long and was eager to fit into every group or outreach program the church offered.  One Sunday morning the pastor announced that a family in the area had a pool table that they would donate to the church fellowship hall, however, the church would have to pick it up and deliver it.  As the pastor was asking for volunteers to go dismantle and pick up this massive slate table my desire to “fit in” overwhelmed my desire to be genteel and lady like.  Before I could stop myself I was raising my right hand high so that all in the church could see that I was a good Christian and that I fitted right into this congregation.  It had never crossed my mind that “proper” women didn’t volunteer to move pool tables.  It did not ease my embarrassment any when the only men to accept this challenge were seven very small guys. 

      The confused looks from the other women and the whimsical looks on the men’s faces instantly told me I had really stepped in it now.  I was wearing a crème chiffon dress and spike heels, however, I would not let this get in the way in what I had pledged to do.

     Even as a man I am sure I would have drawn some puzzled looks from many.  I have always been very skinny and what many might even say frail.  Being skinny had it advantages and draw backs.  I could always walk on the grass without bending it and in a rainstorm I could almost always walk between the rain drops.  However, on the other hand I had to run around in the shower to get wet.  Such was life for me as a male but now as a woman I was no longer skinny, I was petite. 

     What was I to do?  What could I do?  The situation only became worse when after church the seven little men who had volunteered decided to go do it “right then” because that was the only time a truck would be available.  I suppose I could have feigned out an excuse but I have always done what I said I would do and this time was not going to be any different.  

     So hi ho, hi ho off to work I went, this pretty little brunette, off with the seven dwarfs to move this pool table.  When we arrived at the home of the donor I could read the expression on his face.  "Well this must be the advance party to show gratitude but when is the work party going to show up?"  As the men removed their sports coats and stripped down to their undershirts I think he finally realized that we were it.  He made some nonsensical comment that I must be the supervisor.

     Imagine his surprise when I jumped right in there and took charge.  The seven dwarfs had no tools and had no clue as to how to dismantle the table so I ran out to my Ford Ranger pickup and retrieved a small tool box.  I found the necessary ratchet and sockets, kicked off my “heels” and slid down on my back under the table and commenced to remove the table legs as the seven dwarfs looked on with mystified and horrid stares.

     Finally after the table was dismantled and slid into the back of the truck the job was completed and whisked away back to the church by the seven dwarfs.  I was invited by the donor and his wife to stay behind and share in some sweet tea and a delicious apple pie. 

     I will always remember this day how Snow White got a real life lesson how there are differences between a man and a woman and there are certainly things that women should not do while wearing a dress.

Bobbie Lang 4/5/2014

If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

Facebook:  Transgender Christians In Chains

Email:          BobbieLang@reagan.com

For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain.     Amazon:   Transgender Christians In Chains

 

The Saga Of A Pampered TransWoman

               Facebook:  Transgender Christians In Chains

               Email:        BobbieLang@reagan.com

                       THE SAGA OF A PAMPERED TRANSWOMAN

                                                                          or

                            If I could find the can opener I would Prepare Dinner

The reality of how pampered and totally useless I had become presented itself in a very real and very hilarious way this week after my partner of 18 years had to undergo some outpatient surgery.

I got Kate home from the hospital around noon.  Needless to say that because of the 6:00 AM preopt and the two hour drive through another Texas ice storm, neither one of us had had breakfast and by now I was starving.  As we passed every Micky D’s or Whataburger along the way home, my stomach screened for me to whip in and fill the cavernous void with what some people on the go called “breakfast”.  However, it was not to be.  I had promised the discharge nurse that I would rush Kate home and into her bed as quickly as possible. 

Now finally I had her snugged into bed and here I was trying to find something to eat.  I rummaged around in the pantry and there before my eyes I found a box of instant pancake mix.  It has been eighteen years since I met Kate and she had assumed all the cooking and kitchen duties.  But I thought I remembered how to make pancakes, especially the one that had the batter premixed in a box.  I quickly read the instructions on the back of the box and decided “I can do this”……”I think?”  Ok.  So I would need a griddle and a whisk.  I think I saw Kate use one once, so I know we had the necessary items.  Now where were they?  I made a quick visual scan of our kitchen and saw an array of drawers and cupboards.  Now which one?   I quickly open and closed every door and every drawer but nothing came into view.  Breakfast was going to be harder than I thought. 

I had always been taught that when the going gets tough the tough gets going.  Oh, heck, I’ll be tough tomorrow, I’m starving now.  So I did what I always do when I can’t find something, ask Kate.  I softly opened the bedroom door and whispered “Kate”.  No reply.  “Kate”.  Still no reply.  As I crept up along side her bed I heard the unmistakable zzzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzz.  Oh Lord, what do I do now?  Back to the kitchen.  Ok I was going to take this kitchen apart drawer by drawer and cupboard by cupboard as the music from “I will survive” reverberated in my head.  I had not realized before that this kitchen had soooo many drawers and soooo many cupboards.  I’ll start with the drawers.  I painstaking opened every one and with the scrutiny of Colombo I investigated them thoroughly.  After, I think the fourteenth one, there before me next to the spatula laid the whisk.  Halfway there.  Now for the griddle.  That was easier.  After the third cupboard, I homed in on the griddle.  Victory.  I was cooking with oil now.  Oh, crap, I will need oil too.  Now where is the oil?  Back to the pantry.  There in full view calling out to me was a box of frosted corn flakes.  This was so much easier.  So after the biggest challenge of my life since I met Kate I feasted on a breakfast with Tony the Tiger.

Kate will be in recovery for a week and I will have to do all the cooking for us.  I think this may be the biggest challenge of my life.  Thank God for Mac and Cheese and Chicken Pot pies and above all the microwave.  Now if I can only find the can opener.  But of course there is always pizza delivery.    So ends the saga of a well kept lesbian.

Bobbie Lang 3/4/2014


If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at:

          Facebook:   Transgender Christians In Chains

          Email:          BobbieLang@reagan.com

      For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

Amazon.com  Transgender Christians In Chains

Stinking Thinking and Focus on the Family

 

 

 

                         Facebook:Transgender Christians In Chains

                         Email:       BobbieLang@reagan.com


      Stinking Thinking and Focus on the Family (part 2)

 

 



 

When I first seen this on facebook I couldn’t help believe that it was exactly the way I feel and the way I espoused in part one of this two part blog.  Across the country I have seen countless bumper stickers that read “Hate is not a Family Focus” or “Hate is not a Family value”.  They were eluting to the Focus on the Family stand against homosexuality.  When I saw those stickers all I could think up was how wrong both parties on each side of the issues were.

 On one side there is Focus on the Family.  I feel that they are a very good and wholesome organization dedicated to bringing the Christian family structure into focus by using the principles taught to us in God’s word.  I think every one of us across America and around the world will agree that is a noble and much needed endeavor.  They have decades of meaningful history and a highly successful track record of mending the fractures in broken and dysfunctional families.  I am not here to promote Focus on the Family; however, I will trumpet their good intentions from the mountaintop. 

 Unfortunately, like so many good things, there is a worm in the apple.  Focus on the Family still embrace the misinformed belief that homosexuality and gender dysphoria is a choice and, therefore, a sin.  With that mistaken belief as their premise than you cannot blame them for their assumption that a person can “pray away” their sin and walk away from it as easily as someone may walk away from fornication, adultery, or any other hosts of “sins”.  They will also admit that if homosexuality is not a choice than a good and loving God can heal the dysphoria, however, they leave no room for what a person should do with their life if God in His wisdom chooses not to heal them.  If left unhealed, life still goes on.

Either, or, Focus on the Family’s strong stand on the homosexual lifestyle is not hate but misguided love.  If it were hate, than they would be perfectly content to watch these sinful people be consumed by the fires of hell as we know that is where all sinful people are destined.  However, it is in their love that they reach out to what they believe to be sin and try to win them into the Kingdom of Heaven.   

 On, the other hand, are the people who think that “disagreement” or “intolerance” is fear and hate.  I’m sure most of us as parents have days when we cannot tolerate our children, however, none of us would ever say they hated them at that moment.  We have all heard the quote, “If they loved you they will accept you”.  Sometimes it is because they “do” love you that they can’t accept you.  How can anyone say they love their children and idly standby and watch them go down a road that may lead to destruction? 

 In my own life, my parents expressed to me flat out that they did not “agree” with the choices I had made for my life and tried their best to convince me to change my mind and conduct myself in a more traditional lifestyle.  It was their love for me that motivated them to do everything in their power to try and turn me from a journey that they thought would lead me heartache, loneliness and the breaking up of my marriage and the loss of my friends.  I love them for trying because I know they only wanted to protect me.  Sometimes I wished I had listened more.

 So why is it that when we see Focus on the Family do the very same thing we judge them and accuse them of hate speech and intolerance?  As, for me, I love Focus on the Family and I will support them and their message and will do everything in my power to proclaim their message that God can mend broken families.  I will also do everything in my power to educate them that homosexuality is not a choice and endeavor to transform their stand on this issue.

 Bobbie Lang 1/19/2014

 
If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at:

          Facebook:   Transgender Christians In Chains

          Email:          BobbieLang@reagan.com

      For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain.