Transgender, Homosexuality and Marriage Equality? Questions Answered

                                           
                                                Email:         BobbieLang@Reagan.com
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          Transgender, Homosexuality and Marriage Equality?

                                                     Questions Answered                                

During my transition from male to female and after my gender reassignment surgery in 1984 I struggled with the idea of dating and all the issues and questions of intimacy with men.  As a male my interest was in females.  I had dated a few girls in High School and I had all the typical hormonal instincts of discovery of the opposite gender I suppose every young adolescent boy has.  As a young man I married a beautiful woman and fathered a daughter.  However, I was just acting out the script that I was typecast to play because of my apparent anatomy.  Through all the years of my psychological therapy the questions concerning dating was a main topic of group discussions.  Most everyone thought they could handle the idea of dating men but it was not true for me.  The idea of even holding a man’s hand much less kissing him made me sick at my stomach and I thought I could never do that.   I knew I was not a homosexual man but as a woman what would I discover my sexual orientation to be?

As I began my new life I returned to college to pursue education that would prepare me for a new career.  I was in my mid 30’s and I was absolutely captivated by all these young men in their early 20’s asking me out.  At first I refused but eventually I gave in and began to date.  I enjoyed the fact that men saw me as an attractive woman and I felt at peace that for once in my life I was living the person I thought I was meant to be.  I enjoyed the company of men and the attention that they were showing me and I was attracted to the strength that I found in them.  After a day filled with activities such as camping, hiking or boating I could easily fall asleep and felt safe and secure in their strong arms.  However, whenever the men’s thoughts turned to romance I became extremely uncomfortable and I often wondered what I would do if I was ever asked for my hand in marriage.  Then it happened.  Twice I was asked and twice I broke off the relationship and moved on to someone else.  Eventually, though, I began to believe that I could be the dutiful giving wife that most men desired so when the third man proposed I accepted.   Plans were made and as the wedding day approached I knew I could never go through with the marriage.  The idea and fears of sexual intimacy petrified me and I knew that this marriage would never work.  I ran away from the altar and from men in general, however, the strength in men and men’s attention toward me still attracts me, even today.  Now I live my life as a lesbian and I found that is where I am happy.  So does that mean that I was a heterosexual male and now I am a homosexual woman?  How you view me is a matter of semantics and I can accept either identity without being offended.

So what about marriage equality?  All my life I have been absolutely against gay marriage.  Even in my autobiography released within the last year I stated I was absolutely against it.  It always seemed to me that gay marriage was an attempt by the LGBT community to normalize something that isn’t normal.  I do not think that me being transgender is normal and I do not believe that homosexuality is normal.  I have also heard the excuse that marriage would afford the marriage rights of any heterosexual marriage.  Kate, my partner of nearly nineteen years, and I have been able to acquire legal and family administrative rights through the help of a good family attorney.  So why does the LGBT community demand marital equality? 

For many, believe it or not, the answer may be found in the Bible.  It is about the Biblical guidance concerning fornication.  Fornication are sexual permissiveness is mentioned forty eight times in the Bible.  I think every time I have heard the church criticize homosexuals and the resulting lifestyle it has been in the context of having multiple partners.  Sexual intimacy is one of the gifts that God has given to man and it is a wonderful thing between committed partners.  But the key phrase here is “committed partners”.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong, plain and simple.  End of story.  For the heterosexual community to expect the LGBT community to practice celibacy outside the bounds of matrimony is  wrong and asking them to do things that they themselves would not do is also wrong.  This is no different than the Pharisees who thought they sat in the seat of Moses and put impossible burdens on man and would not life one finger to help them.

So have I changed my views on marriage equality?  I have prayed so intently for God to give me the ears to hear and the heart to listen to His Word so I now support any loving and committed relationship, or marriage, between two men or two women.  I thought I would never come to this point and yet, here I am. 

Bobbie Lang May 25, 2014

If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

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For more information about Bobbie Lang you can purchase my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to sell my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

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