Facebook: Transgender Christians In Chains
A Christmas Miracle
Has anyone ever wondered why God
takes so long to deliver us from the situation we are in and brings to past the
deliverance He has promised us? King David
waited upon God and travailed. “I am weary with my crying; my throat is
parched; my eyes fail while I wait for my God” (Psalms 69:3). The Apostle Paul waited in a Caesarean prison
for over two years before even being sent to Rome to stand trial. Surely he must have wondered why a good and
loving God would keep him in bondage and away from the ministry he was called
to. However, God has a plan and he always
rewards faithfulness and obedience.
After I had my
gender reassignment in 1984, my ten year old daughter chose to live with me
despite the fact she had a good and loving mother. Despite the problems this would ultimately
cause her she was always very understanding and accepting. There were many times in my life when she was
my only friend and support after all my friends and church deserted me. However, in 2010, after her divorce and
remarriage, she too, separated herself from me.
I was never given a reason why, I always thought it was because she was
trying to protect her own children from the confusions and sacrifices she had
grown up with. Her separation really
devastated me and
what seemed like a mountain of despair fell upon my life and I fell into a deep
depression. Especially hard was the loss
of my grandchildren who no longer had anyone to take them to church and to
teach them about Jesus and his love. I
wondered why God would allow such a thing to happen, surely, He wanted me to
tell the children about His Son. For years
I pleated with God to open the doors of restoration with my family, however, communication
between my daughter and I was limited to an occasional text message. I, like, King David travailed. “I am weary
with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail while I wait for my God”. I was advised by many people to just close
the door on my family and walk away and forget this portion of my life. Quite frankly, I was beginning to think maybe
this is what I should do; however, deep inside I knew that I could never do
that. I knew my Lord never gave up on me
and I was not going to give up on my daughter.
Christmas had
lost all meaning for me and I found myself very unhappy and discouraged every
year when December rolled around and I always eagerly awaited January. This year was no different and by Sunday of
last week I was thinking that my grandchildren probably had forgotten who I
was. Then on Tuesday morning, I received
a text from my daughter saying she would be by the next morning for a three or
four day visit. Suddenly, the Christmas
despair that had weighed me down the previous four years changed and reemerged as
an exhilarating Christmas joy. All
the built up despair and hopelessness that had consumed my life the last four
years seemed like a distant memory and instantly I felt the desire to put up a Christmas
tree, hang the lights and tinsel, decorate the house and yard and to make this empty
dwelling into a home. However, that
could wait. I could enjoy doing these things
with the ones I loved the most, my grandchildren after they arrived. Less then twenty four hours had elapsed since my feelings of
hopeless and despair; now my family was here and the Christmas Miracle was complete and I had awaken
from my long nightmare. It is amazing to behold how quickly God can work.
I could go on
and on about the bliss I enjoyed with my family being together again but I
think you get the message. I would
rather tell you what I have learned. The
pastor of my church has long taught us not to give up on the threshold of our
miracle. I had prayed so long for God to
restore my family and at many times I have felt on the verge of giving up. However, through it all I tried to remain
obedient and trust in God, though, at times it seemed I could not go another
step. On many occasions Satan tempted me
with suicide, however, God always gave me the courage to go just one more
day. Through it all I learned that
although my intense desire was to restore my family, the praise to my Lord was
not dependent upon Him answering my prayers and giving me the needs of my
heart. Because of this I am now stronger
in my faith, and I am made ready to do whatever or go wherever God in His
wisdom may wish to send me. Because of
this experience I can trust in His Lordship and know that through Him there is
no limit to what He can do through me.
Because of this long and very lonely road, God has been with me, and
during the long cold nights He has revealed to me areas of my life that I have
not fully surrendered to Him. He
continues to mold me and model me into the person He can use and His daily presence
gives me courage to face whatever lies in store for me. Once again God has demonstrated the certainty
of His message, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Now I ask, was
the Christmas Miracle the restoration of my family or was it the completion and
graduation of another grade level in the Lords School of Faith? I think both!
Bobbie Lang
12/23/2013
If you like the fresh and
different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with
gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook
at
For more
information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered
Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com. It is my
heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful
experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from
defeat. It was never or will ever be my
intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain.
