Monday, December 23, 2013

A Christmas Miracle


                     


              Facebook: Transgender Christians In Chains    
 
                            BobbieLang@Reagan.com

                                                          
 

                            A Christmas Miracle   

 

     Has anyone ever wondered why God takes so long to deliver us from the situation we are in and brings to past the deliverance He has promised us?  King David waited upon God and travailed. “I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail while I wait for my God” (Psalms 69:3).  The Apostle Paul waited in a Caesarean prison for over two years before even being sent to Rome to stand trial.  Surely he must have wondered why a good and loving God would keep him in bondage and away from the ministry he was called to.  However, God has a plan and he always rewards faithfulness and obedience. 

       After I had my gender reassignment in 1984, my ten year old daughter chose to live with me despite the fact she had a good and loving mother.  Despite the problems this would ultimately cause her she was always very understanding and accepting.  There were many times in my life when she was my only friend and support after all my friends and church deserted me.  However, in 2010, after her divorce and remarriage, she too, separated herself from me.  I was never given a reason why, I always thought it was because she was trying to protect her own children from the confusions and sacrifices she had grown up with.  Her separation really devastated me and what seemed like a mountain of despair fell upon my life and I fell into a deep depression.  Especially hard was the loss of my grandchildren who no longer had anyone to take them to church and to teach them about Jesus and his love.  I wondered why God would allow such a thing to happen, surely, He wanted me to tell the children about His Son.  For years I pleated with God to open the doors of restoration with my family, however, communication between my daughter and I was limited to an occasional text message.  I, like, King David travailed. “I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched; my eyes fail while I wait for my God”.  I was advised by many people to just close the door on my family and walk away and forget this portion of my life.  Quite frankly, I was beginning to think maybe this is what I should do; however, deep inside I knew that I could never do that.  I knew my Lord never gave up on me and I was not going to give up on my daughter.

       Christmas had lost all meaning for me and I found myself very unhappy and discouraged every year when December rolled around and I always eagerly awaited January.  This year was no different and by Sunday of last week I was thinking that my grandchildren probably had forgotten who I was.  Then on Tuesday morning, I received a text from my daughter saying she would be by the next morning for a three or four day visit.  Suddenly, the Christmas despair that had weighed me down the previous four years changed and reemerged as an exhilarating Christmas joy.  All the built up despair and hopelessness that had consumed my life the last four years seemed like a distant memory and instantly I felt the desire to put up a Christmas tree, hang the lights and tinsel, decorate the house and yard and to make this empty dwelling into a home.  However, that could wait.  I could enjoy doing these things with the ones I loved the most, my grandchildren after they arrived.  Less then twenty four hours had elapsed since my feelings of hopeless and despair; now my family was here and the Christmas Miracle was complete and I had awaken from my long nightmare.  It is amazing to behold how quickly God can work.

      I could go on and on about the bliss I enjoyed with my family being together again but I think you get the message.  I would rather tell you what I have learned.  The pastor of my church has long taught us not to give up on the threshold of our miracle.  I had prayed so long for God to restore my family and at many times I have felt on the verge of giving up.  However, through it all I tried to remain obedient and trust in God, though, at times it seemed I could not go another step.  On many occasions Satan tempted me with suicide, however, God always gave me the courage to go just one more day.  Through it all I learned that although my intense desire was to restore my family, the praise to my Lord was not dependent upon Him answering my prayers and giving me the needs of my heart.  Because of this I am now stronger in my faith, and I am made ready to do whatever or go wherever God in His wisdom may wish to send me.  Because of this experience I can trust in His Lordship and know that through Him there is no limit to what He can do through me.  Because of this long and very lonely road, God has been with me, and during the long cold nights He has revealed to me areas of my life that I have not fully surrendered to Him.  He continues to mold me and model me into the person He can use and His daily presence gives me courage to face whatever lies in store for me.  Once again God has demonstrated the certainty of His message, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

 Now I ask, was the Christmas Miracle the restoration of my family or was it the completion and graduation of another grade level in the Lords School of Faith?  I think both!
 
Bobbie Lang
12/23/2013
 

 If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at

                                          Transgender Christians In Chains 
 

                                                BobbieLang@reagan.com










For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

1 comment: