The Saga Of A Pampered TransWoman

               Facebook:  Transgender Christians In Chains

               Email:        BobbieLang@reagan.com

                       THE SAGA OF A PAMPERED TRANSWOMAN

                                                                          or

                            If I could find the can opener I would Prepare Dinner

The reality of how pampered and totally useless I had become presented itself in a very real and very hilarious way this week after my partner of 18 years had to undergo some outpatient surgery.

I got Kate home from the hospital around noon.  Needless to say that because of the 6:00 AM preopt and the two hour drive through another Texas ice storm, neither one of us had had breakfast and by now I was starving.  As we passed every Micky D’s or Whataburger along the way home, my stomach screened for me to whip in and fill the cavernous void with what some people on the go called “breakfast”.  However, it was not to be.  I had promised the discharge nurse that I would rush Kate home and into her bed as quickly as possible. 

Now finally I had her snugged into bed and here I was trying to find something to eat.  I rummaged around in the pantry and there before my eyes I found a box of instant pancake mix.  It has been eighteen years since I met Kate and she had assumed all the cooking and kitchen duties.  But I thought I remembered how to make pancakes, especially the one that had the batter premixed in a box.  I quickly read the instructions on the back of the box and decided “I can do this”……”I think?”  Ok.  So I would need a griddle and a whisk.  I think I saw Kate use one once, so I know we had the necessary items.  Now where were they?  I made a quick visual scan of our kitchen and saw an array of drawers and cupboards.  Now which one?   I quickly open and closed every door and every drawer but nothing came into view.  Breakfast was going to be harder than I thought. 

I had always been taught that when the going gets tough the tough gets going.  Oh, heck, I’ll be tough tomorrow, I’m starving now.  So I did what I always do when I can’t find something, ask Kate.  I softly opened the bedroom door and whispered “Kate”.  No reply.  “Kate”.  Still no reply.  As I crept up along side her bed I heard the unmistakable zzzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzzzzz.  Oh Lord, what do I do now?  Back to the kitchen.  Ok I was going to take this kitchen apart drawer by drawer and cupboard by cupboard as the music from “I will survive” reverberated in my head.  I had not realized before that this kitchen had soooo many drawers and soooo many cupboards.  I’ll start with the drawers.  I painstaking opened every one and with the scrutiny of Colombo I investigated them thoroughly.  After, I think the fourteenth one, there before me next to the spatula laid the whisk.  Halfway there.  Now for the griddle.  That was easier.  After the third cupboard, I homed in on the griddle.  Victory.  I was cooking with oil now.  Oh, crap, I will need oil too.  Now where is the oil?  Back to the pantry.  There in full view calling out to me was a box of frosted corn flakes.  This was so much easier.  So after the biggest challenge of my life since I met Kate I feasted on a breakfast with Tony the Tiger.

Kate will be in recovery for a week and I will have to do all the cooking for us.  I think this may be the biggest challenge of my life.  Thank God for Mac and Cheese and Chicken Pot pies and above all the microwave.  Now if I can only find the can opener.  But of course there is always pizza delivery.    So ends the saga of a well kept lesbian.

Bobbie Lang 3/4/2014


If you like the fresh and different viewpoint I have for transgender Christians struggling with gender confusion and their faith in God please follow and like me on Facebook at:

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      For more information about Bobbie Lang you can get my autobiography “Transgendered Christians In Chains” on Amazon.com.  It is my heart and soul for my writings to help mend painful lives and heal painful experiences by sharing the story of my victories and the lessons learned from defeat.   It was never or will ever be my intention to push my autobiography for the purpose of monetary gain. 

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